Holding our Children's Hearts

Since placing a Bible under my sons' pillows at night won't result in an instant download of understanding God's unwavering love, grace, and truth, I've had to learn to be creative in how I teach, instruct, and how I nurture the souls of my boys.   Ultimately their hearts and souls will burn with flames of their own choosing, but as a mom, I can sure place some quality kindling while I have the opportunity.

And really, our children's hearts are the most precious possessions that any parent holds knowing this possession is short lived as our children grow, mature, and make choices of their own.  We don't possess their hearts for long, especially if we don't love and tend their hearts well.  We have the power to break hearts, mend hearts, grow hearts, and shape hearts.  We must fight for hearts.

The reason this is so important is because the heart determines the direction of one's life.  The heart determines individual choices.  The heart determines pain - real or perceived.  It determines joy, desires, wants, priorities, and prejudices.  The heart feels.  This is why we, as people, are told by the Creator of our hearts to guard our hearts.   

We need to grow our minds by wrestling with faith, truth, opportunities, and difficult seasons in life and allow those truths, difficult lessons, and growing seasons to inform very core of who we are - our hearts.

Because our hearts (feelings) will lie to our minds (truth). 
Our hearts' pain or desires will run us and wreck us
if we don't stand up for what we know to be right and good and true. 

I get to display truth in how I love.  I don't have to earn God's love and my boys don't have to earn my love.  My love can't be based on my feelings because my feelings are fickle.  My love is an active choice.  Perhaps I need a 'mommy time out' on occasion but I'll always love my boys.  And they know it.

I get to display the truth that my arms are safe place to be.  I am safe and will protect them.  In a world of violence and pain, we sometimes just need to be held.

I get to display the truth that my stuff isn't my own.  As people we don't have to prove our worth by what we have and have not.  That's just silly and shallow.  Everything I have is a gift from God which means I can freely give and share with others since it doesn't define me anyway. 

I get to display the truth to my boys that they are each important to the dynamic of our family, just as every Christ follower is important to the church - not the building, the diverse, broken, yet God-loving people group.  God gives us life and fills us with joy, healing, blessings, and an overwhelming love for Him as so that we can intentionally give and contribute to the well-being of others inside our home, the church, and our community.

  Heroes need a world view that's larger than themselves.

I get to display the truth that I care more about my boys' character than I do their comfort.  I have to be intentional about having uncomfortable conversations about life, school, and relational situations while framing the situations as an opportunity to display God's love and grace to others.  I display truth when I allow them to feel discomfort as they confront challenging situations.  The truths learned from discomfort often result in growth, change, and maturity.

It is the truth setting healthy boundaries is an act of love.  They may resist and fight this side of love as I fight for their best.   But someday, prayerfully, they'll see that I'm not a big, fat, meanie head trying to squash their lives with rules.  As parents, we provide guardrails because we want the very best for our children.  We want them to be successful in every area of life which means teaching them to say 'no' to lesser things and 'yes' to the greater things.  God does the same thing with us.

 These are just a few truths my mind has had to remind my heart.  These are the truths that I need - maybe not want - but desperately need because I often make mistakes.  Or forget.  Or get selfish and prideful.  Or check mentally check out because I'm tired.

But God, being faithful and loving, reaches into my tiny world and tiny heart to lovingly remind me of truth.  He reminds me of His presence, love, grace, and forgiveness.  He reminds me that he's my friend, comforter and shield.  He reminds me that I am loved for who I am and that he made me unique for a reason.  

The more I remind myself of these truths, the more I believe them.  

The more I believe these truths, the more I'll live them out.  

The more I live them out, the more others will see believe good truth as well.

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Resources you may enjoy:

Book: Boundaries with Teens by Cloud & Townsend - The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.

Online Resource: The 5 Love Languages Profle: What is your Love Language?  Take the quiz online and have your teens take it as well!  Find out how they give and receive love!

Sermon by Matt Chandler: Recovering Redemption - The Remedy: The Gospel of Jesus Christ.  How the gospel applies to everyday situations.  

Sermon series by Andy Stanley:  Starting Point Everything has a beginning. Every person, every idea, every journey starts somewhere. Whether it's one small step in a new direction or a major event, from that point forward nothing is ever the same.  It's not always comfortable. It's not always easy. But it's a start.