Chasing Evan

I hate running.  Really I do.  I have 50 million excuses to not run.  It's too cold (65 degrees), too hot (75 degrees), too windy (there's a strong breeze), I'm too tired (I'm a terrible sleeper anyway), the sidewalk is too hard, etc.   

But I love the satisfaction of a good cardio workout.  I also love knowing that I did something healthy regardless of how I felt.  It's good for me.  I'd rather lift weights or throw myself into a class at the gym - something less mentally challenging-  than running alone with my angry muscles.  

But I run anyway.  Once in a while.  A necessary evil.

This morning I opted to go for a power walk and as I was tying my shoes, Evan, my 11 year old began running around the house frantically searching for his running shorts and shoes so he could come with me.  

Raising Heroes

This past week has been a muddy rainbow of sorts.  It's been gloriously bright and beautiful as our family has cherished so many small yet loving and peaceful Holiday moments together.  Yet dark colors muddle and confuse our joy as we grieve and pray for the families of Sandy Hook who lost 26 people, mostly children, in an act of evil violence at the elementary school.

Every mother I know is rocked to her very core.  We are hugging our kids tighter, longer, and whispering even more prayers over their precious heads as we send them out the door each morning to the bus that drives them away from our hovering protection and into a scary world.

Cliff and I wanted to be the ones to tell our children about this tragedy before they heard misinformation anywhere else.  We wanted to give our slant first by giving the basic information then allowing them to process this in their own time, asking questions then allowing us to answer to the best of our abilities.

Evan, our middle and most introspective son, ponders long, feels deeply and asks the impossible questions that cause me to feel inadequate and nervous.  I keep God on prayer speed dial as I desperately seek immediate wisdom, discernment, and the right words for his questions.  Answers that are honest.  Answers that causes him to think and reason.  Answers that always lead to God's amazing love and sovereinty.   Answers of resolution, appropriate for an 11 year old on life's challenging and confusing subjects.  Pain.  Death.  Loss.  Abuse.  Betrayal.  Kidnappings.  Animal cruelty.  Starvation.  Sex.  Love.  Relationships.  Eternity.  Dreams.

Evan.  "Mom, I'm really bothered by the shootings."