He hasn't actually set foot in a Middle School before. After elementary school, we chose to home school him for a slew of reasons but still takes a few classes on a school campus that caters to home school families. I picked him up from a class and drove him home to change. I only had 10 minutes to give him a pep talk and wanted every second to count.
I know very little about basketball. However, I do know a lot about being nervous, insecure, and wanting to hide in the shadows. I prayerfully considered what pep talk I would have wanted to hear but more importantly, the pep talk I needed to hear. I dove right in, pretending to be a sports mom....
“Here's the dealio, Baby (yes, I still call all my boys 'baby'), this is middle school. Kids can be mean. They will make fun of everything. They'll make fun of you for having long hair, short hair, blonde hair, brown hair, or purple hair. They'll make fun of you for being tall, short, strong or weak. You already know they'll make fun of you for being home schooled. It's just life, shrug it off.
“You are nervous because you aren't the tallest and fastest. But I've seen you play and you are smart and can score points like nobody's business. Earn their respect by playing the best you can play, by being the smartest player out there. Capitalize on your strengths and work on being faster.
"Be confident, even if you don't always feel like it. But don't take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself a bit. And here's some advice I would never give you while playing on the church league; it's time to show off a bit...”
He pumped his fist in adolescent delight and grunted out an exuberant “Yessss!”
I continued, “Never make yourself look better at someone else's expense. True leaders never do that. You are still part of a team. But as an individual, now is the time to let yourself shine.”
I immediately doubted myself – did I give the wrong advice? Did I say enough? Did I say too much? Did he interpret 'shining' as self-indulgent pride? Heaven forbid. Or was I just being a nurturing mom bringing tender empowerment? I knew the season would bring many "man up!" lectures from his dad and I. Rightfully so. We aren't raising pansies.
He quickly changed and we began to walk to the school. We walked half a block and he gave me a hasty kiss on the cheek before he bounded away like an excited puppy. Apparently, it's not cool to be seen with your mom.
My baby is growing up in a rough and wild world. He's growing up in a world where mediocrity reigns supreme as we bow before thrones of brain-numbing entertainment. He's growing up in a world focused on improving weaknesses to camouflage strengths for fear that someone else may feel inadequate. For what it was worth, giving him permission to shine may have been the only words he needed to hear.
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