Assault and Pepper Spray

[Photos by Dreamstime.com]

Each night I pray for, hug, and kiss each of my boys good night.  They won't go to sleep until I do.  We discuss heavy topics, pray for special situations and I'll often sing to them while scratching their backs.   Riece, my 7th graders, begs for extra hugs and will often crack a few jokes or tell a quick story, making us both dissolve in stifled giggles. I love his rascally quips and brilliantly quick whit.

One particular day had been extremely busy, crowding out our quality conversation time.   Despite being home-schooled, there are days we barely connect between his classes on campus, sports,  youth group activities, and his social time with buddies.



That evening, I entered his room, dimmed the lights, and turned down the radio before kneeling next to his bed.  He launched into a story about school so I rested my head on his pillow and listened. Within a few minutes we were both giggling.  

I then asked about some school friends we hadn't discussed in a while.  Sharing more stories and jokes, he caused us to giggle some more.  Then quietly and hesitantly, he shared how a former friend was repeatedly throwing Riece to the ground by his shirt.  Riece's solution was to avoid him.  Stunned while carefully weighing my words, the momma bear in me began to bristle at the thought of someone harming one of my cubs.  Countless incidents of bullying and peer abuse happen daily, leaving deep emotional scars despite preventative efforts of teachers and parents.  I'm a first-hand witness, on numerous levels.  Heaven help the bully who hurts one of my kids.

I launched into a passionate pep talk.  "Baby, you know that this is bullying and it's not okay, right!?  You know that anyone caught bullying is in huge trouble.  By not saying anything, you give them permission to bully you again.  And they will most likely bully others.  You have our permission to defend yourself if you ask them to stop and they don't listen.  It's okay if you are sent to the Principal's office for self-defense.  I have no problem chatting with the Principal about this.  Bullying is not okay and I need you to tell me when this takes place.  This is considered assault!"

His mind raced as he nodded in agreement.  He assured me that this wasn't an ongoing situation, and that he would be sure to not let it happen again.  After a few moments, he got a sudden twinkle in his eye.  I think he feels a challenge to shed sunshine into my motherly monsoon moments.

With a half-smile he says, "So mom, if that's considered assault then should I carry pepper spray?"   He smiled in anticipation and I paused to process.  I am blonde so it took me a moment.  Suddenly we both began to giggle again.

He won.  The goofball.



You may find useful or enjoy:
*Bullying Resource - Kid Power
*Web Resource: Practical Parenting Help from Family Life Today
*Tools for Parents with School Age Children (understanding personalities, self-care, emotions, etc) - Focus on the Family